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Dr Gabrielle recently appeared on 60 Minutes. By following the highlighted links from this page, you may view the Sex in the Suburbs segment, read a transcript of the show, or read the Web Chat transcript below of the live online interview that Dr Gabrielle gave after the show aired.
Interviewer: ninemsn in association with 60 Minutes presents a live interview with Dr Gabrielle Morrissey. Dr Morrissey, thank you for joining us tonight in our live online 60 Minutes interview.
Gabrielle Morrissey: Thank you for having me, it's a pleasure to be here.
Interviewer: We will go directly to questions from the many guests who have joined us tonight.
itsjustme asks: What is sexology and what does a sexologist do?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Sexology is the scientific study of human sexuality and a sexologist wears three hats — sex therapist, sex educator and/or sex researcher. Some do only one, but I do all three.
Flutters asks: Why is there a shift towards additional stimulants in our sexual relationships? I don t think my mum or grandmum needed such things, why do we?
Gabrielle Morrissey: I think it's a choice. It's a choice that s always been there. We now have greater variety. Did you know humans have been playing with some sort of toy for nearly 40,000 years? There's more openness about trying new things now.
Nick asks: How did you approach the researching of the trends?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Relying on a lot of worldwide academic research. La Trobe University does great research. There is a wealth of information about sexuality out there.
RedRobyn asks: Do you believe that most people are honest when completing surveys? Wouldn't some not tell the truth about their sexual needs?
Gabrielle Morrissey: That s a good point and one researchers wrestle with. Surveys are always confidential, so that helps — and even when people lie, it's still interesting to find out what and why they're lying.
Rv asks: Does research cover people with alternative sexualities or only heterosexuality?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Absolutely! Alternative sexual lifestyles and choices are widely explored in sexual research and have been for centuries and will continue to do so, because there is so much more to know.
Flutters asks: Specifically, does research tell us anything about older people and their sexual habits?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Yes, there is a lot of research in that area, especially now that the baby boomers are getting older. It's a relatively unexplored area but will demand increasing attention and rightly so!
Jo asks: Does research show that our idea of what is acceptable changes as we get older?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Interesting question. We do see a change in sexual attitudes as we get older. Each generation has their own unique attitudes. The research is contradictory, some show a trend towards conservatism, some show a relaxation and experimenting.
Duckie asks: From research or anecdotal evidence, do we know if a penchant for toys etc runs in families? Are mothers talking to daughters and fathers to sons about alternatives to vanilla sex?
Gabrielle Morrissey: We do know we learn our sexual messages and values from our parents and families as well as society. So yes, there would be some evidence of that. However, with a greater openness towards the spectrum of sexuality today, people are playing with options different from some of their families.
elvisfan asks: Is there any suggestion that middle aged people rekindle and enjoy a new sexual freedom once the children have left home?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Definitely, and this is where part of the paradox lies, because middle age can also bring about lower libido in some — hence the interest in variety, Viagra, other stimulants and new pharmaceutical research.
Alf asks: Why do people find whips and handcuffs pleasurable and how is that to do with good sex?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Things like whips and handcuffs can stimulate the brain — our most important sexual organ. Things like restraint can bring an awareness to your whole body being stimulated. All sexual experimentation needs to occur in a consenting, safe environment where partners trust each other.
qldhouse asks: They say toys are unhealthy and are a site of a lot of infection, can you tell me if this is true?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Toys, like anything else, should be cleaned regularly. There are toys designed for specific parts of the body. Yes, instructions on the box should be read and followed, even for those that don't like to read instructions.
Unichique asks: I've heard that pleasure toys can actually desensitise the pleasure areas, is this true?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Some toys can, in a sense, over-stimulate. Toys like vibrators need to be used with plenty of lube so as not to cause pain. If you use toys a lot and stop using them, your body will still be fine. If you use toys properly, you shouldn't damage anything. The penis has 4000 to 6000 nerve endings and the clitoris has 8000, so toys or not, these areas love all kinds of stimulation.
dave44 asks: Should you use a condom when using vibrators?
Gabrielle Morrissey: It depends on how many people at once you are using it with. If it's in a monogamous relationship and the toy is cleaned every time, it should be okay. If you re switching orifices, it is often recommended.
Baron asks: Can you explain more about the A spot?
Gabrielle Morrissey: It's on the front wall of the vagina, higher up towards the cervix. In some women it's quite a smooth area, not necessarily orgasmic, but pleasurable, especially with deep penetration. There is more information about this spot in recent sex books on the market, including my own book, Urge.
Gus asks: As far as vibrators go, should you start small and gradually get bigger?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Depends on the vibrator and if you like stimulation on the clitoris and/or inside the vagina. Toys these days are often designed for both. Some have up to seven speeds. If you start with a basic one, it will give you a good idea. Some people like to start with a couple s toy that has two separate vibrating parts, one for each partner.
itsjustme asks: Has there been much of a change in the human sexual appetite over the past 40 or so years?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Good question! Hard to answer, because it means comparing very different pieces of research. Basically, if you think of it, the '70s were about sexual rights, women s rights and rights to pleasure. The '80s were about responsibility, especially safer sex, and the '90s were about revitalisation, Mars-Venus relationships, sexual relationships, Viagra, etc. The noughties seem to be revelling in all this change, resulting in at least talking about a greater appetite.
Rv asks: Does the human sexual urge experience flux as a person gets older through life? Like, in older years, is the urge less or equally the same as when in the younger generation?
Gabrielle Morrissey: The sexual urge/sex-drive fluctuates naturally across the whole lifespan. It can dip with stress, worry, performance anxiety, fatigue — especially after children. These highs and lows occur throughout life. For some there is a decline steadily as you get older, but I know some great-grannies and grandads still going strong and loving it.
sasha_b asks: After four kids and a failed marriage, I am now in new relationship. Feel self-conscious. I'm concerned about being stretched when it comes to penetration. Are there positions that would maximise his experience and is there good literature to assist?
Gabrielle Morrissey: First of all, remember that the vagina is what we call a potential space. It will accommodate anything from a slim tampon to a baby's head. Your concern is natural and good positions would be ones that you can feel relaxed in and also have control over pace, depth and rhythm. Side by side, woman on top, sitting positions would be good ones to consider. There are some terrific books out there that outline sexual positions — hundreds of them. Peruse your book shop. You might also venture one day into trying tantric sex, which is terrific for relaxation of the body during sex.
tony asks: Do women care about size of the penis in this day and age, because most guys in their life always ask themselves that question: is it the right size?
Gabrielle Morrissey: If I had a dollar for every time I was asked this question! It's a common anxiety or question for men, but the research shows women really are more interested in connection, technique and pleasure than size. There are many studies that say this same thing. I think we ought to get this message out to young men earlier in their lives to save so much grief and worry.
Neek asks: Are there any stimulants for females like Viagra for men?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Great question! It's being researched right now. Studies show Viagra for women isn't all that successful, but there are other products being researched. Love Potion Number 9 for women seems to be about increasing desire, not blood flow, which is unlike how Viagra works. Stay tuned. I'm sure we'll see products and stimulants for women that really work soon.
Satisfaction asks: Hi, do you have any suggestions for males not completely satisfying their partner by finishing too early? This is not a once off, it is a continual problem.
Gabrielle Morrissey: The treatment for rapid ejaculation is similar to any exercise that couples would try to make sex last longer. The average session of intercourse, not foreplay, is 10 minutes. Making sex last longer is about pacing stimulation and learning control over your sexual response.
Melinda asks: I want to experiment with swinging but I am afraid it will ruin our relationship. What do the statistics say?
Gabrielle Morrissey: There are very few statistics on swinging, however, experimenting with another person, whether it be a threesome or swinging, needs to be undertaken cautiously. You can't underestimate the power of jealousy. Communication is the key.
Julie asks: I'm not sure if I should use sex toys in love making. Is it up to me?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Good question! While sex toys were once regarded as sex aids, only to be used when sex was dull or a problem, now they are more widely accepted as what I call sex accessories. You might sound out your partner by saying you've read about it in a book or saw it on 60 Minutes and would they like to try, or buy them a gift voucher at a shop. It's up to you, if you want it to be up to you. If you are hesitant, it's a good idea to talk about it and giggle about it rather than surprise them with it.
penny asks: Do you think it's the greater choice available now or are people just more open to the idea of toys during sex?
Gabrielle Morrissey: People are more open to using sex toys and accessories, from massage oil through to the latest gizmo. With that openness comes a curiosity and acceptance to try.
Rv asks: I understand some people use body peircings to enhance sexual pleasure. Why is this and is it a safe practice?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Body piercing, especially genital piercing, is partly done for the aesthetic. Others use them for sexual pleasure. Safer sex does need to be considered. A good piercer will tell you if a particular piercing is likely to damage a condom. This needs to be considered for alternative safe sex.
jason asks: Will easier access to pornography via mechanisms like the Internet have a marked impact on the sexual attitudes of future generations?
Gabrielle Morrissey: That's being researched right now at the University of Sydney. It's a bit hard to tell at this stage. There are benefits to being open about sexuality, but I believe adolescents' development needs to be taken into consideration. When it comes to access to pornography, I believe controls on the Internet will have to become stricter.
Sol asks: At the risk of sounding silly, what if penetration doesn t work for you? I mean, it s nice and it s close, but goes nowhere. Is there something wrong or something one can do to fix this?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Women most reliably achieve orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation. It's a bit like trying to get a man to orgasm by playing only with his scrotum and ignoring the penis. Women often find it easier to orgasm during intercourse if they experience an orgasm during foreplay, as this heightens the sexual response. Positions to use would be ones that give access to clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
jaqobean asks: I m a 37 year old mother of two and never had an orgasm. Why?
Gabrielle Morrissey: I have the book for you. It's called The Elusive Orgasm by Dr. Vivien Cass. It's a great workbook that will help any woman who has trouble having an orgasm. Find out the cause and then find the solution. I highly recommend it.
steve21 asks: I receive more pleasure masturbating then when I'm receiving oral sex. Is this a sign that I am a homosexual or the person giving oral is just not very good at it?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Sexual orientation is an inner knowing of who you are attracted to and not a reflection of particular sexual behaviour preferences. If you experience better sex masturbating and fantasising rather than with your partner, it could be a technique issue and I would recommend talking to your partner about it positively and carefully so as not to hurt their feelings.
Prudence asks: Why do people feel compelled to explore past the unwritten moral boundaries?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Unwritten moral boundaries are not only societal and religious but also very personal. People like to test boundaries in all areas of life, not just sex. It seems to be part of human nature.
Banjo asks: My partner and I have been watching some adult movies lately and the people in them seemed to be very casual about anal stimulation. Is this really the case or is it dangerous? What would you recommend?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Anal play seems to be in vogue currently, probably due to a lessening of taboos around sex in general. If done properly it shouldn't hurt or cause damage. Condoms are always recommended and plenty of lube and starting slowly and gently. There are good books on this topic too, available in bookshops or online.
david asks: Although Australians seem to be using sexual products and services more, there's still a lot of stigma against people working in the sex industry. Do you agree with this impression and if so why does this stigma still exist?
Gabrielle Morrissey: I do agree with this impression. I think wider society still values sex plus love equals the best sex, though paying for a sexual service contradicts this and creates the stigma. We are slowly seeing change in this area, although, since it's the oldest profession in the world, change is obviously slow.
gran asks: Is there anything you can use from around home if you can t or won t buy sex toys?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Absolutely! There is a long history of eroticising food — think chocolate sauce, honey, strawberries, mangoes, scarves and ties. A little imagination goes a long way.
nicky asks: What is a good sex toy to get if you don t want your partner to think he needs to compete with it?
Gabrielle Morrissey: This is one area where size might matter. Some of the most powerful vibrators are little egg-shaped toys that can be used on him as well as you. Sharing is caring, so not as much of a threat.
bipbop asks: What is tantric sex?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Tantric sex is an ancient way of sensually and sexually connecting with your partner. It emphasises pleasure of the whole body and is complicated and simple at the same time. Best ways to explore tantra are through workshops, books and videos.
Yabby asks: Would you agree that lots to do with sex is to do with good brain chemistry? Ie stress and hang-ups don't let the endorphins flow as they should...
Gabrielle Morrissey: Absolutely. Sex really starts in the brain. There is a lot of brand new research using functional MRIs to show how various parts of the brain light up when we are attracted and aroused. We'll start to see more research and knowledge in this area in the coming years. I find it fascinating.
Alf asks: If sex is so enjoyable, why is it a taboo subject?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Good question. That deserves a long answer, but I'll have to give it a short one. Sex is a fundamental aspect of who we are. It's not just behaviour, but also identity and values. There are negative and positive aspects to this and because people and cultures are so different, some of that variety over time created taboos.
MB asks: Are there any demographic differences in sexual practises that have been researched? I mean, there are when it comes to diet and food, is there difference across socioeconomics when it comes to sex?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Not a lot of research breaks down sexual practices according to socioeconomic variables, because sex is so universal. Mostly we know that what people like and engage in crosses most demographics.
itsjustme asks: Is it healthy to explore sexual desires that differ from the norm?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Healthy sex is really about positive pleasure and as long as you re not harming yourself or anyone else, exploration can be great.
nicky asks: What do you consider the top five commandments for good sex in a relationship?
Gabrielle Morrissey: I actually have five! The five principals for great passion include pleasure, pampering yourself and your partner, priorities, partner connection and practice, practice, practice.
Interviewer: Unfortunately, we are out of time. Do you have any last words for those that have joined us tonight?
Gabrielle Morrissey: Thanks for all your interest. Remember that in our current era of greater openness towards sensuality and sexuality, there is a plethora of information out there. You just have to be proactive to find the answers to your questions and ideas for your desire. Play safely, positively and lovingly and thank you again, it's been a pleasure.
Interviewer: Once again Dr Morrissey, thank you and good night. This concludes our live chat with Dr Gabrielle Morrissey, August 15, 2004. Produced by ninemsn.com.au in Sydney, Australia. ninemsn.com.au 2004. Thanks for joining us tonight.
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